Alvin Greene Makes His First Speech (And It Sounds Like It)
Matt | On 19, Jul 2010
Our friend, U.S. Senate candidate, Alvin Greene of South Carolina, had a big day this weekend, on my birthday no less. He gave his first speech on Sunday.
::Cue the crickets::
Greene spoke in his hometown of Manning, South Carolina and it was hosted by the Manning chapter of the NAACP. He spoke at a local junior high school. Trust me, his speaking skills reflected the venue choice!
This sh&t is off the chains! He left me seasick from all of the rocking back and forth. He started off by joking that, “I am also the best choice for the [NAACP] Image Award next year.” You damn right about that! LOL! He gets the “Least Likely to Play a Politician in a Real Campaign” prize, in my book.
He repeated a line three times about the nation losing a net total of 125,000 jobs in June, completely missing any sort of punch, applause or drama effect line. The speech from there was a mass bumbling of various political talking points about education, the judicial system, and employment.
The kicker for me was that Jessica Yellin of CNN reported that Alvin told her the speech was written all on double-lined notebook paper. iCan’t!! LOL!!!!! That damn Microsoft Word is just too complicated. He literally took it back to the junior high days with that one.
Is it November yet so we can be put out of our misery?
Just for kicks, please check out Alvin’s official campaign website. It looks like it was designed at the elementary school down the street from where he spoke. I cannot take this seriously, people.