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Prune Juice Media | December 3, 2016

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Alvin Greene Wants to Make Dolls of Himself to Jumpstart Economy

| On 07, Jul 2010

Alvin Greene dials a Mental Crisis Hotline to help him make some sense of why on Earth he's running for U.S. Senate in South Carolina. (Photo by Sabree Hill/Polaris)

I am tearing this page right out of the book of STUPIDITY and literally LOL’ing inside a crowded coffeehouse.

Alvin Greene, South Carolina’s favorite “WTF” Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate, is finally talking about that little thing called a PLATFORM that he has yet to really spell out and run on. Poor Alvin must have used the colored magnetic letters on his mama’s refrigerator for this one.

Greene was recently asked in an interview with The Guardian, a major UK-based outlet, about jump-starting the South Carolina economy.  If you didn’t know, it is sagging worse than an old lady’s bosom.  Greene came up with a very bright idea (in only the dimmest of settings) to breathe life into the pocketbooks of the people in his state.

He wants to make dolls of himself.  YES. YOU. READ. CORRECTLY. Alvin Greene could be the next Ken, Barbie, or hell, even Chucky to litter your kids playrooms. He says that the dolls could be similar to action figures – complete with Army, Air Force, or a power suit uniform.  Standing on his “marketing prowess,” he already says that kids are going to go crazy for the toys at Christmas.

To prove my point, here’s the quote that appeared in The Guardian about this doll-making economic minefield he wants to create:

“Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays. Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an army uniform, air force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids. That’s something that would create jobs. So you see I think out of the box like that. It’s not something a typical person would bring up. That’s something that could happen, that makes sense. It’s not a joke.”

My response is … of course a “typical person” is not going to bring that sh*t up! This dude can’t even sell HIMSELF to his bedroom mirror, let alone South Carolina voters, Don Lemon on CNN, and now The Guardian! I shake my head every time I hear someone mention his name.

Imagine me walking in the White House tomorrow morning, pushing over Barack’s chair in the Oval Office while he’s sitting in it, taking a seat, and running this country. Then, tomorrow night, I’m gonna jump in the Gulf and put my face over the leaky well to drink the oil until it’s all gone.  That’s how I feel Alvin is trying an all-out IED attack on my common sense. It stops right here, right now! Lol…

This guy doesn’t even have the Internet in his own home or a cell phone, but wants to be someone SENATOR?! His disconnection is not only from the information superhighway, but from REALITY as well.  For God’s sake, one of his relatives was washing a car in the driveway and another one was asleep on the couch when a reporter from a major international paper stopped by the house. Where is that ok to do?!

I’m wondering when this charade is going to end. Only then will he be free to create the Mattel-like paradise of his dreams where little kids actually look up to him.  ::smdh::

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