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Prune Juice Media | December 3, 2016

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Gay Marriage Has an “Ick Factor” According to Mike Huckabee

| On 21, Jun 2010

Mike Huckabee doesn't want to have anything to do with your dirty, disgusting, filthy, backwashed, gutter homosexual relations! There you have it. Carry on.

Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee took us on a time travel journey to the first grade in a piece recently in the New Yorker.

When discussing gay marriage and his lack of support for it, he says that it has an obvious “ick factor” because physical relations between two men or two women just don’t work. You do the mental role play on your own. LOL!

Huckabee went on to explain in more adult, but still discriminating, terms that he doesn’t think gay couples should be able to adopt.  “Children are not puppies,” says the former governor.  Of course they’re not. I can’t think of how many times I’ve seen gay people feeding their kids Purina Puppy Chow and tying them to a leash in the backyard while company visits. I’m also so sick of gay people letting their kids piss on trees and bark all through the night.  Damn the gays!

Mikey did give one great conservative talking point that should help refocus the obviously wayward gay community.  He says that monogamous (heterosexual) marriage lowers the instances of poverty in families. Are we playing “state the obvious” and nobody told me?  Anytime two WORKING people live and contribute equally under the same roof, then yeah, it’s going to lower poverty for everyone in the household.  These could be married couples, roommates, gay couples, extended families, whatever.  It’s not quantum physics.  More money “should” equal less past due bills!

I have to circle back to  Huckabee’s “ick” factor comment.  I think the 50% divorce rate in this country is kinda icky.  The fact that Larry King is still procreating or that John Edwards has a sex tape makes me gag in the back of my mouth.  I love Bill Clinton, but him creating a semen-soaked dress in “The People’s House” will make me pack Clorox wipes for my next White House visit.  Sen. David Vitter (D-Louisiana) and Former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer were buying those “icky” prostitutes while violating the sanctity of their heterosexual marriages.

But maybe Huckabee wasn’t talking about those “icky” acts?  Perhaps he’s better at imagining and justifying Larry King on top of a woman half his age.  God didn’t give me that gift, thankfully.

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