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Prune Juice Media | December 3, 2016

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George W. Bush To Release His Memoirs in November

| On 26, Apr 2010

Here's the cover of Bush's upcoming book, "Decision Points." Gotta love the glamour shot of the president looking like he was working.

Make your early Christmas list now!  Former President George W. Bush is set to release a memoir (of sorts), called “Decision Points,” on November 9.

Bush is kinda, like-sorta, trying to write a memoir because it only details his decision-making or lack thereof about key events in his life and presidency – drinking, family, 9/11, and the stolen presidential election of 2000, etc.  His publisher, Crown Publishers, says that Bush has been burning the midnight oil since the day he left office to write this book.  Yeah right!  He didn’t work that hard as the leader of the free world .. going to bed at 9:00 p.m. every night and off vacationing and chopping wood in Texas every two weeks.

The book is described as, “a strikingly personal and candid account revealing how and why he made the defining decisions in his consequential presidency and personal life.” Something in my spirit just won’t let me believe that.  He wasn’t personal and candid as president!!  He just did what he wanted and to hell with the rest of us.  So, now am I supposed to treat this book as his confessional?!

They say that he is already reviewing the first draft of the manuscript in Dallas.  (Timeout:  Need to contain my laughter because that sentence was way too literary)!  I thought he wrote it on the brown paper with the colored lines and the big pencils like we used in elementary school.  The idea of Bush overseeing anything scholarly is really making me laugh.

Anyway, heavy promotion is planned for later in the year when the book is released.  It’s just kinda bothering me that when he OWED us these explanations as our president, he said so little.  Now, he stands to blow the hinges off the bank door with sales and royalties and so he wants to be Chatty Cathy, complete with book signings and the whole nine.

This is the best part.  The book will cost $35. I’m wondering if it comes with a DVD and a cookbook too for that ridiculous price?!  I mean, for real.  Was the forward written jointly by Abraham Lincoln and Harriet Tubman and signed by Bill Clinton?  Clearly, Bush has forgotten the … umm … RECESSION he helped usher in, right? Well, we aren’t out of that just yet.  Nor are we ready to roll up and smoke that kind of cash on memoirs of GEORGE W. BUSH!!

If that wasn’t enough for you, 1,000 cloth-covered, signed copies will be available for $350 each. Obviously at that price point, please expect Sting, Bon Jovi, all of the Beatles (living and dead), Tina Turner, Jay-Z, and George Gershwin to personally performing in your living room at your beck and call.  Is that $350 AMERICAN dollars?!  Pesos or rupees .. eh maybe.  Greenbacks = NOT ON YOUR LIFE!

The Bush family is churning out memoirs this year.  Former First Lady Laura Bush has her own memoir that’s set to release on May 4.  At this point, I just can’t… *walks away from the computer*

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