Obama’s Got to Walk It Out!
Matt | On 01, Mar 2010
President Obama had his first physical exam as Commander-in-Chief this weekend.
The results are in and it shows we have a pretty healthy POTUS. But, his cholesterol spiked to the borderline high range since his last checkup in 2007. So, his docs have recommended that he start walking more to lower that number. He started following doctors today by walking back through Lafayette Park from an earlier speaking engagement. It’s a good start.
In my personal opinion, there are some contributing factors that Obama should avoid to keep his levels normal. This list is in no particular order:
- Five Guys. Walking through the front door of this restaurant could easily cause an artery to go bad.
- Congress. Still no healthcare? Oh hell no! Then there’s really no way I would be near them. If he passes out, trust me, there is NOTHING they are going to do to get him the care he needs.
- Rahm Emanuel, or Rambo Rahm, as I like to call him. The name should be a giveaway enough. He’s like a firecracker just full of drama, energy, and breakroom language! He’s the type of person that everyone rolls their eyes at when they walk into the meeting room. lol..
- FOX News. Better yet, no mainstream media at all! Watching 10 minutes of this raises my blood pressure 20 points. So, I can only imagine what it does to a stressed president. Keep it light .. The Daily Show, Cartoon Network, even a silent film on A&E Classics every now and again.
- Dick Cheney. He’s got enough issues of his own, both medically and psychologically. The two of them should NOT be in the same room ever. Dick stresses the terrorists out, so you can only imagine what he’s doing to us.
- His daughters’ entire teenage years. They are quickly approaching. He needs to make a plan to skip those altogether and let Michelle take the lead. The first boy that comes to the White House to take Malia out is going to be lectured until he turns 25. It’s just not a good look for the POTUS, his vital signs, or the bat he’ll keep at his bedside.
So overall, considering the circumstances, President Obama is in good shape. He’s due for his next physical in August 2011, shortly after he turns 50. I hope his whole head won’t be gray by then … Ughh..