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Prune Juice Media | January 23, 2018

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The Long and Short of the GOP’s ‘Pledge to America’

| On 29, Sep 2010

House Minority Leader John Boehner (R-Ohio) unveils the GOP "Pledge to (Do) America (Wrong Again)" in Virginia last week.

I don’t think I’ve read a document lately where I shook my head the WHOLE time I looked over the text. Well, that changed when I read the GOP’s “Pledge to America” document (see PDF) they released last week.

The title is a reinvention of the “Contract with America” (see text) from the GOP in 1994. You know, the one that FAILED.

Basically, this 2010 “pledge” is more of the same Republican talking points about several key issues. These are items they plan to tackle when and if they take over one or both houses of Congress in November.

Here’s a rundown of their priorities vs. my honest thoughts:

  • Create jobs and end economic uncertainty.     [PJM read: Keep tax cuts for the rich and let the stock market shit on us again.]
  • Stop out-of-control spending.     [PJM read: Everything falls under this except our precious wars. Though we are heavily in debt, we still refuse to acknowledge our fault in this from 2001-2008 leading us to massive deficits. Most of you don’t read anyway and you have short memory spans. Who needs details?]
  • Repeal and replace the new healthcare law.     [PJM read: Poor people for the first time are going to have some respectable level of access to care and parity in the system. Damn that. The insurance companies line our pockets, so we scratch their backs. High premiums for everyone just like before.]
  • Reform Congress and restore trust.     [PJM read: Forget the fact that you didn’t trust us when we ran both the White House and Congress prior to 2006. It’s not our fault. Blame it on the Democrats.]
  • Better national security at home and abroad.     [PJM read: We gotta keep funding this Middle East money pit we’ve created. It’s the American way. War is the answer to keep our hands somewhere in the Middle East oil fields since we don’t give a damn about clean, renewable energy.]

In addition to the Tea Party-esque nature of text, you’ll notice ONE Asian (pg. 20) and ONE African-American face (pg. 46) in all of the photos in the 48-page document. No lie. I thought a pledge to America should look slightly more like the people whom they plan to serve. But then again, who am I?

Feel free to read the “Pledge to America” yourself. Then pledge to yourself that you’ll never blow this much smoke up someone’s ass, if you can help it.

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